Lost?

Standing alone in the crowd, all eyes are on me.
Being on low ground but feel the terror of heights.
Standing on dry land yet feeling drowned by water.
Every breath taken feels like a choke
Every single beat of the heart feels like a knife.
Every drop of tears dry a part of me.
Every step taken forward seems backward.
As easy it was to stand it feels like I’m tied to the ground by weights.
As much as I want to see the world, all I could see is nothing.
All the sound in the world is silence to my ears.
What is there left for me to feel?

Oblivious

Oblivious as it is, never in my life having I said to anyone “I need you.” To belittle myself and put my standings in the mercy of others is contradicting to my beliefs. Once put in a position where my own two feet can no longer stand the weight put upon my shoulder a helping hand is gratifying. A hand to lift me up is the least of my needs. An open arm to hold me so I could be release from the weights for awhile is indeed wonderful. But all you could afford to give to me is a blissful feeling in the heart. Scratched by your words that meant so much now turn into ashes by your actions. Thank you for pushing me to the ground and stepping my head face down to earth. The taste of the soil ground although bitter it isn’t as bitter as what my heart had to taste. The scratches put upon my physical aren’t enough to remind me the painful truth of reality instead the sharp needles prickling my heart and soul paints a vivid picture of what is happening. You have indeed forgotten who I am …

A Riddle

What is sweet at first but bitter after,
It can turn a whole room bright but it would still be dark sooner or later,
What is beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside,
It changes it looks as well as you but you'd still be yourself,
What lies and hurts you the most,
It brings you nothing but tears and anger,
What we need most in life but somehow manages to take away life itself,
If you still don't know it is,
It is what we called love.

Happy New Year

Jan 2005, a new beginning a new year. I welcome the new year with open arms … may this year be a good one and better than the years before...