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Home is where the heart is, I am at home. Even if silence is our company everything is just perfect. A bit too unbelievable but home is where everything is safe. Somewhere you could just feel at ease. It’s so easy to smile around you. I am so envious of myself for feeling so happy around you. Ridiculous I know, but that is exactly how it feels.

“Let it be said,
Your heart holds me to place …
Right next to yours …”

You, Me and Us

My eyes are watery. My cheeks are red. My sides hurt. My heart aches. My tummy’s in a twist. It’s not because I’m hurt or sad but because of one man and one man alone, the one who conquered my heart and now has made my life filled with laughter. I thought I am cookie enough to make the world laugh but this one man makes me laugh.

Officially we have been together for one month. In one month we had our ups and downs. The first week was a piece of cake. The second and third week came a bit rough. The fourth week we were heading towards the finish line holding hands to receive the trophy together. Superb month, as I said it can be sum up into 3 words. “There’s a beginning, middle and hope there is no end.”

We have dreams; wants; hopes. What we want is being together as long as we could. My life hasn’t been this swell in years and the only people who able to do this for me was me. Now you’ve came along. I had managed to make basketball my life. You being in my life now, made you my life. Where have you been all this while? Just across the court unnoticeable cause devotion to the one you love. Where have I been all this while? On the other side of court devoted to the thing I love. Funny how someone fits so well in your life, there’s nothing you need to alter or change. I can be just myself and you accept just that way. I’m not saying this because you’ve said it, I’m saying this cause I can actually prove to you I haven’t change one bit just to fit in with you.

The missing piece huh? You don’t need to cut the edges to fit it in or change the colours or anything else. It just fits. I have bruises all over but it’s all because of basketball. Those are the colours of my personality you seem to understand it. Pain is what builds me up. Pain on the court shows I played my best to be the best I can. You see that. Is there more I need to say about us?

We’re a couple of oddballs when put together. “Let’s throw mash potatoes at them and see how they like it.” Let’s hide away the mash potatoes and put snowballs instead at least we’d have a blast! I need to look for the words so it comes out right. Everything feels so right. Everything fits so well. Everything has been so wonderful. You have been wonderful. Having you in my life has been great. The world that seemed never to have meaning in their words now has meaning once again.

I’m not afraid to fall because I know you’d catch me. I’m no longer sad all the time because you make me laugh always. Silence has not had its chance to accompany us. Sadness has met his match.

Darling, you’ve build a mansion for us it’s time to start a family so stop shooting blanks.

Being in love with a person makes you weak and strong. Being in love with yourself makes you stronger. Words commented to you, you take it whole it is either you taste it or not. Somehow, it is strange that a stranger can tell how you really are than the person who knew you for life. I may not be perfect … I may be a hypocrite but some principles you just cannot break for life. I do not know how to explain this really, because it is harder than it looks.

Worst comment you can ever get is from yourself because you say who you say you are, but if you cannot up live to it, you are only disappointing yourself. We believe what we want to believe. We may hope but believe in it may not be in our books. It is up to us to believe such things. Look in front of the mirror and ask yourself are you who you say you are? If you are not, then, why bother saying anything, being humble is one thing, being arrogant is another. A remarkable person in your own eyes is the best gift you give yourself, but when a person sees you the same, the greater it becomes. Smile to your widest and enjoy every word you tell yourself. Mere rambling that are empty when read clearly.

Fear is god’s gift to us; to know fear is good. You know what to fear and you know what to do. Patience is god’s punishment for us; to be patient through the worst situations ever seems endless. Where is the finish line to this scenario? My life is full drama I am the actor, co-writer and director. I lead it to a way I wish I did not have to. I am merely human. When we were born, we were gifted with a paintbrush to paint our lives. How do you want it? Black and white or colourful? You could paint in a rainbow if you wish; just to see if you could find a pot of gold at the end of it.

Lately, my life is currently taking up its course. Slowly this life boat of mine is rowing down a river that would bring an adventure to my life. I do hope to find the docks soon to build a new life and move on ahead. Can’t really go on this river for all eternity I need to know where I am headed sooner or later. It might just rain and cause a huge current, must be god’s way to see if my life boat can stay afloat. Well my boat is a bit rocky right now but I am doing my best to steer through the rough waters. I seem to have help in this boat right now.

I have to admit I almost gave up hope in men. I came to a thought that they were all the same. That after one, another would end up being exactly like the last one cause they seem to be judging others so much that they don’t realise they themselves are alike. But him, I believe he is different. I know he is different. I do not wish to be surprised by antics of men again. Anymore I’d probably snap.

My darling, if you ever get a chance to read this. I am so thankful to have you right now in my life. You made everything that seemed so glum just out right bright. I love the fact that you play basketball and love it as much as I do or perhaps more. God knows. I love how you make me laugh; I love how much I fit perfectly in those arms of yours and I love how comfortable to have you in my arms or just around me. Despite the goose bumps. It is actually a new thing for me to be nervous around someone. My darling, you made everyday seem wonderful to a point I don’t wish for it to end. Although it still does, I look forward the new day with you and every other day. Our relationship is an average of 163 days in a day for us, the cookie part, and the quirky part … All so lovely. I keep falling for you every day, no every hour; no every minute; no every second; Ah, bah humbug! I love you endlessly.

"Keep your friends close; Keep your enemies even closer"

I am reaching the last few pages of my book. I continue to write but this time I want to write about what have the people around me have done. I have a number of best friends, one I knew since kindergarten, the other since primary school, another since high school, a couple in college and a few along the way. They are a weird bunch I have to admit, but if you mix them up you can actually see what kind a person I am. My friends are the closest people in the bunch they make who I am;

you can never leave them out of life.

Although there are people who would hate you, for whom you are; these people are the ones that love you just for you who would be. I do not choose my friends, they chose me and all I can say is thank you for doing so. Even if you lose out in love, you realise that love from one person does not constitute the love you get from your friends. It is what brings you up when you are down the most. The other day’s bbq even if it was not a huge event it was among my friends. It felt safe and comfortable being around them. It was huge to have them around me. In appreciation to my friends whom are the closest and nearest, thank you

for being who you are.

-This is an appreciation to my friends; Faatin, Shaq, Syed, Ecah and Ams(sorry you couldn't make it) I love you people so much~!-