Something about it that caught my eye, I saw only one then realised there were more of the same stone just a different pattern. Somehow this pattern seems to say something to me, I know it’s ridiculous I never thought a pendant would have a meaning in my life but this somehow does. It made me look and feel complete. You know the feeling, when you walk around and you don’t need to explain what kind of person you are the pendant seems to depict everything. This is it.
It’s funny the pendant seems to have written in it part of my life of who I was and become. It seems to have put a full stop to my ever winding life. As if, if it were words it describes everything that has happened to me. I know it doesn’t make sense but maybe if you see it the way I do, it would.
I read an article called “How to Beat "Dating Déjà Vu"”. In it, it wrote,
So you've finally gotten past the old relationship, licked your wounds, and sworn you've learned your lessons. You've starting dating again and you're even taking it slowly. Though you've healed, the hurt from the past is still vivid in your memory.
And then, suddenly, there he or she is! There's just something about this person that feels right. For all the people you've been going out with, this person seems different -- there's a comfort level you don't experience with the others. And so, you start to shun the others and make a more definitive commitment to this person.
And you're happy. Yes, this could be "the one"!
But then, a few months into the relationship, you start to realize that though your new partner seemed different from your last one, he/she really isn't different at all. The more you get to know the person, the more you recognize the same underlying traits. Maybe he/she isn't generous with money or not emotionally expressive or makes unilateral decisions.
And you ask yourself, "How could this happen again?"
Perhaps it happened because you let it happen? What you want solely expecting it to be different unexpectedly it remained the same? Or perhaps it’s like the theory of number 23, it isn’t there but you search for it to be there. You’re perhaps looking for it because you keep reminiscing about the past and what it was like.
There’s so many past which one do you keep to? Perhaps you should stop looking for the past and just experience the future as it is. It would be much understandable just to forget about the past because as much as similar it can be it is wholly a different person, true? If the past is what you want, then why couldn’t you be content with what the past had to offer?
I think what Incubus has to say in his song is true.
love hurts
but sometimes it's a good hurt
and it feels like I'm alive
love sings
when it transcends the bad things
out of heartache, try me
cause without love I won't survive
tethered and abused
stand naked and accused
should I surface, this one man submarine
I only want the truth
so tonight we drink to youth
I never lose what I had as a boy
sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
is there a spell that I am under
keeping me from seeing the real thing
What the past has on me is something forgettable easily because up till now the past is still the past and has never changed his skin. Some might say jealousy is rearing its ugly green head but let me clear out one thing, there’s nothing to be jealous of a man who’s in a relationship where he goes out late at night without his “one true love” knowing what he does and girls throw themselves on his neck and he welcomes them with open arms.
Although the common fact is you’re afraid that you’re present may turn out to be just like the past so you keep aware of the events that happen around you thinking that it might be like what it was then. It’s about time you just put your foot down and walk through that walkway laid and not looking back to see if someone or something is trailing you from behind. You’re in the lead and you have Champion written all over the banner up on the podium waiting for you to put it on.
Love hurts but we can’t runaway from it. We need it to survive and live in this world.